Full Circle by Adrian Gaetano
1.
It was a tough decision - one which they felt that parents should never have to make. The young parents considered their newly-born child with a mixture of pride, love - and agonised confusion.
“Is it a girl or a boy?” asked the doctors.
What a decision! Life, God or fate - whichever they chose to believe - had dealt them a cruel blow, and now they had to permit the surgeons to correct it.
They had consulted priests, doctors, family and their own inner consciences. Now, their decision was made.
Young Sarah acquiesced with a silent nod as Brian announced, “It’s a - !”.2.
Carl grew into the fullness of youth, and began to reach maturity. He knocked around with his young mates, particularly with Jeremy.
They played football together, and discussed girls. They enjoyed the closeness of young men sharing the experience of growing up together.
Until one day, during a night of videos, chips and beers, hands began to stray and touch...3.
“What’s on your mind, Carl?” asked Doctor Mugabe.
The inmate paused as he considered his reply to the prison psychiatrist.
“...I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Doc...” he replied, “...and I’ve realised some important things about myself...”
The doctor waited for Carl to continue. The young man lowered his head and spoke quietly.
“I realise now that my basic problem...was fear.”
“Fear, Carl..?”
“Homophobia...” Carl continued, his shamed voice barely a whisper, “I killed my best friend...because I couldn’t cope with what was happening between us...”
The doctor nodded, and scribbled some notes. It appeared that the prisoner had made a breakthrough in his treatment, finally understanding the causes and consequences of his actions.
“Mmmm...Carl, you seem to be telling me that you’re sorry for what happened..?”
“Yes. I’ve realised that I was scared...full of hate.”
“And you now know the consequences of hate?” asked Doctor Mugabe.
Carl nodded. His contrition was sincere - it usually was, in such prisoners, after such a heavy treatment of mind-altering drugs.
“Yes, Doc. My hatred killed my best friend, and landed me in prison. Jeremy didn’t deserve what happened to him...but I deserve everything I get in here.”
“I see...so, Carl, where do we go from here?”
“Well, Doc, that’s not the only thing I’ve realised about myself. You see, I think my homophobia and fears come from deep inside...from a more basic problem.”
Carl paused, uncertain how to proceed.
“Uh, Doctor, I realise that I’ve hated myself for a long time...before I killed Jeremy and landed in here...and I think it’s because...”4.
The Director of the Parole Board smiled across the table at the inmate who sat before them.
“We are pleased with the reports we’ve received...” he announced with a tone of satisfaction, “Ever since your reported...transformation...you appear to have been a model prisoner.”
The inmate returned the smile and spoke: “My ‘transformation’, as you call it, was a sincere attempt to move away from everything in my past that had led up to my criminal act; an attempt to distance myself from all my hostile male aggression; an attempt to accept the inner ‘me’ whom I had denied all my life...”
Their eyes met across the table, and the inmate continued, “Now I am happy in myself. I hope that you all believe in my sincere intentions. Although I can never bring back the life of the man I killed, I want to redeem myself in the eyes of my society.”
The Director nodded.
“I understand. And it pleases me to report that the Parole Board is willing to grant you a conditional parole...”
“?”
“That condition being...” spoke up the Deputy Director from her own chair on the safe side of the table, “...that you agree to undertake TRT...”
“TRT?” grinned the prisoner, “Of course! My record should indicate that I already requested to volunteer for that experimental procedure!”
The Director nodded.
“Then it’s agreed. Thank you, Carla...”5.
“Who are you?”
Her voice - her thoughts - echoed in the rainbow blackness.
“Sarah?” came the reply, “Don’t worry. I am...a friend!”
She had sensed the other’s presence, and now she sensed that the other’s words were true.
“Where are we?”
“I’m not sure, exactly. What’s the last thing you remember?”
“My baby...the labour pains...the painkillers...blackout...”
“That must be it. We’re inside your mind...in a limbo...something to do with your condition and...my own condition.”
“?”
“Sarah, I’m here because of TRT...Time Reversion Therapy...it’s a highly experimental procedure where I come from...”
”TRT..?”
“It’s meant to help me regress back in time...psychologically...but somehow, it’s sent me back here, to you.”
“Back here? Where from?”
“Your future...our future!”
The inky blackness swirled around them, blending with the weightless rainbows.
“I don’t understand!” Sarah wailed.
”I don’t either, really. It must be something to do with the fact that we share the same genetics...I’m thirty-four years old, and my DNA, going back thirty-four years, is your own!”
“But...how can that be?”
“Because, Sarah, I’m your child!”
“?”
“It’s a long story. I was born - will be born - as your son...But I once murdered - will murder - a man because I loved him, and I reached out to touch him, but then I couldn’t cope with my own internalised homophobia...”
As the voice continued, a swirl of light seemed to emerge amidst the darkness.
“...And I went to prison for murder. While I was there, I came to accept that I had spent all my life in the closet, and I had acted out of fear, despair and anger...
“...And so, Sarah, I became the woman I had always wanted to be. I rejected my male past, and all the anger that went with it. I became your daughter...”
“You became..?” Sarah was lost for words.
“Yes, I became. I am who I am. And this TRT, the Time Reversion Therapy, is meant to help me revisit myself and accept my own past; heal my old wounds. Instead, I’m here, talking to you.”
“And I’m here...wherever here is...talking to my own child?”
“By some unhappy accident, yes. And may I take this chance to thank you and Dad for giving me life. It’s been difficult, but I am happy now, understanding and accepting who I really am.”
“Yes, I sense that. It makes me happy to meet you. And it also helps me make a decision, too...”1. (reprise)
It was a tough decision - one which fate seemed to decreed in advance. The young parents considered their newly-born child with a mixture of pride, love - and minimal confusion.
“Is it a girl or a boy?” asked the doctors.
They had consulted priests, doctors, family and their own consciences. Now their decision was made.
Young Brian acquiesced with a silent nod as Sarah announced, “It’s a - !”6.
Carla and Jeremy married young, and lived many happy years together. Strengthened by their mutual support, he became a successful corporate tycoon, and she became the first World President.
Indeed, she became history’s most favoured World President in many generations, because in matters relating to justice, human rights or criminal reform, she always followed her conscience - because, somewhere inside or around her, a little voice reassured her that it was the right thing to do.
And the Universe shone on, healed by its own wound from times past.
Evolution/Devolution? by Jack B. Nimble
Amoeba
Creature
Primate
Cro Magnon
Homo Sapiens
Philosopher Cosmologist
Zealous Bigot
Homo Phobe
Amoeba